4th of July Fun

We have had a wonderful long weekend, it has been so relaxing and nice for all of us to be together and have nothing to do.  We hit the pool every day, we went shopping, we cooked out, we went to friends cookouts and watched fireworks.  Owen loved the fireworks and showed off his patriotic side.

He also has been working on sitting up and his neck control, and I finally convinced R to let me buy a Bumbo.  Owen really likes it, he gets to use it at daycare and they have told us how well he does in it.  

You can see some sitting up results here:

He is SO cute it kills me.  How did that come from me?  Although I guess I shouldn't be too surprised because people that see him always ask if he looks like R, because obviously he doesn't look like me at all.  I wish every weekend could be a 3 day one.  Soon it might be...

Fun times

Owen is so much fun!  In the last couple of weeks his little personality is starting to come out.  Not only is he pretty laid back, but he is just plain happy.  Our day during the week goes like this:

He sleeps from about 9-4, eats and goes back to sleep until we get up at 6:15

Go in and get him from his crib, tell him he's cute and make faces to no response

Put him in the middle of our bed while I get dressed and watch him smile and coo at the ceiling fan.  

Take him to daycare while chatting about the day, weather, what we are passing and praising him for being cute, adorable, smart, etc..

Drop him off and feel miserable

Work from 8-5

Pick him up and watch him smile at me when he recognizes my voice and sees my face

Heart melts

Drive home while babbling about my crappy day and ask him all about his

Get home and do tummy time, play time and snuggle

He goes for a jog with R while I cook dinner

We eat and then snuggle some more

8:30 rolls around too fast and we get him ready for bed. 

And he smiles, coos, snuggles and loves the whole time.  He is trying to sit up more, I can feel him trying to do crunches - those little ab muscles straining.  He also has found his hands and they have found his mouth.  It cracks me up watching him trying to put his whole hand in his mouth.  He is very vocal and is starting to laugh, or at least try.  He just gets the biggest smile and breathes really fast while squeaking.  ::sigh::  It is so cute.  I love this age. 

He's growing up :(

The little man is turning into a big boy.  I can't believe he will be 3 months on Saturday and he is just amazing and continues to surprise me every day.  While I was trying to burp him he just sat up.   Just like that.  We had been holding his belly and low back to practice neck control, but this time I took my hands off him and he just sat there, like a little boy.

We have been doing tummy time every night, and even though O hates it he is getting better every day.  Holding that head up longer and higher every night.  He really likes his tummy time surfboard and seeing the fish float.

But it must be hard work growing up because he is exhausted at the end of the day.  He will pass out on me every night until we do bath, bottle, book and then bed.  (And he is sleeping in his crib like a champ and sleeping through the night - for the most part)

He better not ever get to be too big to let me hold him or kiss him.  

Still here

Sorry that I have been a slack blogger, there has just been a lot going on.  I have been having a lot of guilt and am trying to spend as much time as possible with Owen every day.  I don't know why it is getting so much harder to leave him every day, but it is.  Actually, I know why it is hard but I can't really get into it because of some people who read this.  I will divulge eventually :)  We are all doing well, Owen is just thriving and amazes me each and every day.  I will update and tell more later.

Nostalgia

Every Thursday I start.  I think about what I was doing this time X weeks ago.  Like, this time 12 weeks ago I was getting ready for my appointment, this time 12 weeks ago I was being admitted to the hospital, this time 12 weeks ago I was getting my epidural, and so on all night until I go to bed and the I start again Friday morning.  Thinking about when he was born, the events of that day and meeting my son.  And I feel so emotional... I don't know why.  I just wish I could go back and do it again almost.

 

It isn't that I am unhappy being a mom, I wouldn't trade any minute I get to be with Owen for anything in the world.  I am so thankful that he is here and healthy, happy, bright and amazing.  But I think part of what I miss is the excitement waiting for him to be here, I miss the anticipation and countdown to his arrival, I miss feeling him kick and squirm.  And on a different note, I miss not knowing what I know now about his NF and being worried about that. 

 

We waited for so long to be parents.  We have been a couple for over 8 years, married for more than 2 and we couldn't wait to start our family and have a child.  We never thought we would have trouble conceiving, or suffer loss.  And even though it was early loss, it is still hard to swallow.  When after over a year of TTC and IF we found out that we were expecting again and it was healthy and there was a heartbeat, we were so elated!  And yet, I didn't really get to enjoy my pregnancy.  I was terrified, I spotted off and on for weeks, I was on pelvic rest, the big ultrasound showed the spot on his heart and even after we got the all clear I still worried.  I didn't feel like I could truly relax until around 28 weeks and even then I was nervous.  Then I started swelling and had the BP issue for weeks until put on bedrest and then induced.  Even typing all of this, remembering all of this, I feel like it was ok.  I would do it again in a flash because I got O.  And it wasn't that bad, I am just a sissy.  I want to go back.

 

I don't know why but I want to do it again.  I think part of it is that I want to enjoy it, I want to relax and I want to let myself feel the excitement and happiness.  I am 99% sure that we will have another child.  We talk about it pretty frequently and even though we are scared for another child with NF, we can't imagine just one.  We have discussed adoption and it is definitely a possibility.  But in my heart, I can't just be pregnant once and have wasted it on being nervous.  I need to do it again and experience my belly, the kicks, the excitement.  And I will probably be nostalgic then too, remembering what I did at X point in my pregnancy with O.   I guess it's just the way I am.

A little after 4:08 on 3/27.... my sweet boy

Last week, almost 11 weeks.  It's going too fast

Fun Week

We had some family in from Arizona, my brother, SIL, niece and nephew.  They were so cute with Owen and both loved on him and wanted to hold him and play with him.  It was funny because my nephew doesn't really grasp the concept of age and before they came out he was telling my brother that he was going to teach Owen how to play Transformers :)  

We went with them to the beach for a bit and O was not a happy camper.  I don't know if it was the heat, the wind or what, but he was miserable - as seen below.  We went with a little sun dome tent, an umbrella, had him covered up and he was not happy anywhere.  Finally he fell asleep in his carseat under the umbrella.

Finally, we are working on sleeping in his crib.  He really likes cuddling in bed with us and I really like him in his bassinet next to me, but it's time for him to make the move.  He slept in there last night and did ok, and he is in there now trying to take a nap.  It's hard because I don't know what to do with him in terms of sleep training, I don't like CIO and think he's too little, he still doesn't STTN... I guess it will all get figured out eventually and hopefully get in a nice routine.  Look how cute and peaceful he is... 

I love this little man SO much.

Genetic Results and 2 months

Today was hectic.  We had our genetic appointment at 8 this morning and of course couldn't get there before 8:20 because we suck at timing.  They confirmed that Owen has Neurofibromatosis Type 1, which we kind of expected but it was still hard to hear.  It is really hard to know the future with this disorder because it can be SO variable.  He could never develop any symptoms other than the birthmarks he has, or he could be covered in hundreds of benign tumors.  Basically, anywhere that there are nerves, he can grow a tumor - including his optic nerve and lose his sight.  He could have a learning disorder, ADD, and some other complications.  The funny thing is, either R or myself could have it and passed it on.  And if that is the case, neither of us know that we have it.  Or it could be random.  If it's one of us then there is a 50% chance of passing it on again, and if it's random then there is a 2-3% chance.  We had a choice to be tested for it, but we are holding off for now.

They also told us that he had a deletion on his Y chromosome and it's something called Shox.  All this really means is that he could have short stature, around 5'5" - 5'7".  Not bad, I mean Tom Cruise is a stud, right?  They cancelled the tests they were running for Noonan's because she is sure all he has is NF1.  Thank Goodness he doesn't have Noonan's because there are so many more issues and complications.  She basically said that people with NF1 can have traits of Noonan's like his extra neck skin and lower ears (which I still don't see, but whatever).  He will have to see the geneticist every year and have frequent eye appointments to check for lisch nodules and tumors.

After that debacle I had to go to work for a little bit and then I got Owen again for his 2 month checkup.  He looked great - he weighs 12 pounds and is in the 75% for weight, he is 23inches long and in the 45% for length and he is a healthy little boy!  He got 2 shots and an oral vaccine and did great.  He cried for about 30 seconds or so and has been sleeping off and on since then.  He looks fantasic and healthy, and our dr. has a cousin with NF1 and is really familiar with the disorder.  Look how handsome... I caught a smile!!

How can anything be wrong with this handsome boy?